11 February, 21:20
Today, the Kremlin shocked the world with a sensational decree: Moscow has been officially renamed Muskva. According to the Kremlin press secretary, the decision was made "as part of a strategic course to strengthen ties with the potentially returning U.S. President Donald Trump and the greatest genius of our time, Elon Musk."
"This is a crucial step in developing Russian-American-techno-feudal relations. Russia is no longer just a bridge between East and West but a launchpad for a bright future!" — said Vladimir Putin as he signed the decree.
The public reaction has been mixed. Some patriots are already learning Muskva’s new anthem in a gangsta rap style and rushing to update their residence permits, while others anxiously ask:
"Wait… is Putin planning to sell Muskva to Musk?"
Elon Musk responded to Putin’s initiative with a tweet:
"Whoa! Always wanted a city named after me. Where can I park my Starship?"
Experts believe that the Kremlin’s next steps will include renaming Red Square to Red Square X and launching a new cryptocurrency, PooteenCoin, based on Dogecoin. Trump has not yet commented, but analysts predict that he is "still figuring out how to take credit for the renaming."
Stay tuned—tomorrow, the Kremlin might just announce the launch of TeslaLada! 🚀
Links: source